Floored

​I have two VERY strong, visceral emotional reactions that stand in conflict with each other with regard to a specific subject: Floors.

I fucking LOVE clean floors. And I fucking HATE cleaning floors. Sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, all of it. I can't stand it. I'm not fond of the act of cleaning in general, but something about floors just irritates me more than anything else. But once they're clean… Wow.

So, I've decided that science needs to come up with a self-cleaning floor. Something solid and attractive by itself, that, while everyone's asleep, becomes porous and sucks down any dust, dirt, cat barf, and whatnot that ought not be there. It then quietly disposes of all that crap while everyone dreams.

Utopia.

It wouldn't take bigger items like cat toys & shoes. And as soon as it feels the weight of a person or animal on it, it deactivates and turns into a regular floor again. This substance could be a base for carpet fibers, or carpet fibers could be make out of a similar stuff.

Can someone please get on that right away?

The storyteller in me can now imagine all sorts of things going wrong here, and maybe I'll get a story out of this as well.

In other news, sometime soon I will highlight some of the oddball results I get when searching for free stock photos for a specific item or subject. There's always a few "what the hell?" results, and always a cat in there, too. Anything you'd like to see, either as a real topic or as a comical photo search, please, suggest something.